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Joe's Stone Crab

Joe's Stone Crab

“Eat at Joe’s” was a running joke in the classic Warner Bros. cartoons as the classic generic diner food advertisement. The phrase has become associated with the distinction between the “Mom and Pop” and the soulless chain restaurants. But there is no place in Miami with greater soul than the 97-year old Joe’s Stone Crab. A massive place with dark wood and tuxedoed waiters, you immediately know you’ve entered somewhere that memorable dining experiences happen.

Unfortunately for the average “Joe,” part of experiencing the mystique is enduring the wait for a no-reservations table— it can take longer than the flight from New York. The only way to avoid it is to grease the maitre’d‘s palm or bring a VIP. Thankfully, yours truly is the latter (though I did slip a $40 on the way out and promised reciprocal treatment the next time he visits my friends at Scarpetta).

Joe’s has a massive menu with every imaginable seafood and meat choice, plus an endless selection of apps, sides and desserts. Given that you may be famished after waiting, here are some tips to narrow down the menu and get right down to eating. There are three items to order for the ultimate experience: Stone Crab Claws (jumbos, if available, nothing smaller than large), Hash browns, and Key Lime Pie.

The claws come with Joe’s signature and oft-copied, but never-duplicated mustard mayonnaise sauce. They offer drawn butter for Yankees, but you should stick with the mustard mayo. The only thing that can distract from the sweet fresh coral-colored, precision pre-cracked crab claws are the greatest hash browns known to man. Better than any steakhouse in New York, they set the standard. They’re even better than the Prime Rib Hash at Keen’s. End the meal with the not-too-sweet, not-too-tart Key Lime Pie with a graham cracker crust that should be the bottom of every pie.

Joe’s is a can’t miss institution. So when in Miami always remember and never forget: Eat at Joe’s.

: Stone Crab Claws (jumbos, if available, nothing smaller than large), Hash browns, and Key Lime Pie.

: Joe’s Stone Crab
: 11 Washington Ave, Miami Beach, FL 33139


  • JOE’S STONE DRESSING:
  • 2/3 cup cider vinegar
  • 6 tablespoons sugar (or to taste)
  • 2 teaspoon salt (or to taste)
  • 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • SLAW:
  • 1 medium head of green cabbage (about 32 ounces)
  • 4 large ripe tomatoes, sliced crosswise into 1/4–inch slices
  • 8 tablespoons mayonnaise (They use Hellmann’s)
  • 4 tablespoons sweet pickle relish

Step 1

Combine the vinegar, sugar, salt, and pepper in a large nonreactive mixing bowl and vigorously whisk it until the sugar and salt dissolve. Check your sugar and salt levels by tasting and adjust as necessary. Be sure the dressing is highly seasoned.

Remove the core from the cabbage and discard. Cut the cabbage into 4 chucks and finely shred it by using the shredding disc on a food processor or a mandoline set fine. Work in small batches so that you never overcrowd your processor bowl. You should end up with about 10 cups of finely shredded cabbage.

Place your shredded cabbage into a large bowl with the dressing you have prepared and toss it until everything is well mixed. Your best tool to do this will probably be your hands. Once all is well blended let it set for at least 10 minutes.

If you store your slaw to serve later remember to keep it covered, well chilled, and be sure to remix it when you take it out to serve.

Mound your slaw on a platter or onto individual plates. Place your tomato slices on top of the slaw with a dollop of mayo on each slice and a spoonful of relish in the center of each dollop of mayo. Enjoy!


  • JOE’S STONE DRESSING:
  • 2/3 cup cider vinegar
  • 6 tablespoons sugar (or to taste)
  • 2 teaspoon salt (or to taste)
  • 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • SLAW:
  • 1 medium head of green cabbage (about 32 ounces)
  • 4 large ripe tomatoes, sliced crosswise into 1/4–inch slices
  • 8 tablespoons mayonnaise (They use Hellmann’s)
  • 4 tablespoons sweet pickle relish

Step 1

Combine the vinegar, sugar, salt, and pepper in a large nonreactive mixing bowl and vigorously whisk it until the sugar and salt dissolve. Check your sugar and salt levels by tasting and adjust as necessary. Be sure the dressing is highly seasoned.

Remove the core from the cabbage and discard. Cut the cabbage into 4 chucks and finely shred it by using the shredding disc on a food processor or a mandoline set fine. Work in small batches so that you never overcrowd your processor bowl. You should end up with about 10 cups of finely shredded cabbage.

Place your shredded cabbage into a large bowl with the dressing you have prepared and toss it until everything is well mixed. Your best tool to do this will probably be your hands. Once all is well blended let it set for at least 10 minutes.

If you store your slaw to serve later remember to keep it covered, well chilled, and be sure to remix it when you take it out to serve.

Mound your slaw on a platter or onto individual plates. Place your tomato slices on top of the slaw with a dollop of mayo on each slice and a spoonful of relish in the center of each dollop of mayo. Enjoy!


  • JOE’S STONE DRESSING:
  • 2/3 cup cider vinegar
  • 6 tablespoons sugar (or to taste)
  • 2 teaspoon salt (or to taste)
  • 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • SLAW:
  • 1 medium head of green cabbage (about 32 ounces)
  • 4 large ripe tomatoes, sliced crosswise into 1/4–inch slices
  • 8 tablespoons mayonnaise (They use Hellmann’s)
  • 4 tablespoons sweet pickle relish

Step 1

Combine the vinegar, sugar, salt, and pepper in a large nonreactive mixing bowl and vigorously whisk it until the sugar and salt dissolve. Check your sugar and salt levels by tasting and adjust as necessary. Be sure the dressing is highly seasoned.

Remove the core from the cabbage and discard. Cut the cabbage into 4 chucks and finely shred it by using the shredding disc on a food processor or a mandoline set fine. Work in small batches so that you never overcrowd your processor bowl. You should end up with about 10 cups of finely shredded cabbage.

Place your shredded cabbage into a large bowl with the dressing you have prepared and toss it until everything is well mixed. Your best tool to do this will probably be your hands. Once all is well blended let it set for at least 10 minutes.

If you store your slaw to serve later remember to keep it covered, well chilled, and be sure to remix it when you take it out to serve.

Mound your slaw on a platter or onto individual plates. Place your tomato slices on top of the slaw with a dollop of mayo on each slice and a spoonful of relish in the center of each dollop of mayo. Enjoy!


  • JOE’S STONE DRESSING:
  • 2/3 cup cider vinegar
  • 6 tablespoons sugar (or to taste)
  • 2 teaspoon salt (or to taste)
  • 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • SLAW:
  • 1 medium head of green cabbage (about 32 ounces)
  • 4 large ripe tomatoes, sliced crosswise into 1/4–inch slices
  • 8 tablespoons mayonnaise (They use Hellmann’s)
  • 4 tablespoons sweet pickle relish

Step 1

Combine the vinegar, sugar, salt, and pepper in a large nonreactive mixing bowl and vigorously whisk it until the sugar and salt dissolve. Check your sugar and salt levels by tasting and adjust as necessary. Be sure the dressing is highly seasoned.

Remove the core from the cabbage and discard. Cut the cabbage into 4 chucks and finely shred it by using the shredding disc on a food processor or a mandoline set fine. Work in small batches so that you never overcrowd your processor bowl. You should end up with about 10 cups of finely shredded cabbage.

Place your shredded cabbage into a large bowl with the dressing you have prepared and toss it until everything is well mixed. Your best tool to do this will probably be your hands. Once all is well blended let it set for at least 10 minutes.

If you store your slaw to serve later remember to keep it covered, well chilled, and be sure to remix it when you take it out to serve.

Mound your slaw on a platter or onto individual plates. Place your tomato slices on top of the slaw with a dollop of mayo on each slice and a spoonful of relish in the center of each dollop of mayo. Enjoy!


  • JOE’S STONE DRESSING:
  • 2/3 cup cider vinegar
  • 6 tablespoons sugar (or to taste)
  • 2 teaspoon salt (or to taste)
  • 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • SLAW:
  • 1 medium head of green cabbage (about 32 ounces)
  • 4 large ripe tomatoes, sliced crosswise into 1/4–inch slices
  • 8 tablespoons mayonnaise (They use Hellmann’s)
  • 4 tablespoons sweet pickle relish

Step 1

Combine the vinegar, sugar, salt, and pepper in a large nonreactive mixing bowl and vigorously whisk it until the sugar and salt dissolve. Check your sugar and salt levels by tasting and adjust as necessary. Be sure the dressing is highly seasoned.

Remove the core from the cabbage and discard. Cut the cabbage into 4 chucks and finely shred it by using the shredding disc on a food processor or a mandoline set fine. Work in small batches so that you never overcrowd your processor bowl. You should end up with about 10 cups of finely shredded cabbage.

Place your shredded cabbage into a large bowl with the dressing you have prepared and toss it until everything is well mixed. Your best tool to do this will probably be your hands. Once all is well blended let it set for at least 10 minutes.

If you store your slaw to serve later remember to keep it covered, well chilled, and be sure to remix it when you take it out to serve.

Mound your slaw on a platter or onto individual plates. Place your tomato slices on top of the slaw with a dollop of mayo on each slice and a spoonful of relish in the center of each dollop of mayo. Enjoy!


  • JOE’S STONE DRESSING:
  • 2/3 cup cider vinegar
  • 6 tablespoons sugar (or to taste)
  • 2 teaspoon salt (or to taste)
  • 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • SLAW:
  • 1 medium head of green cabbage (about 32 ounces)
  • 4 large ripe tomatoes, sliced crosswise into 1/4–inch slices
  • 8 tablespoons mayonnaise (They use Hellmann’s)
  • 4 tablespoons sweet pickle relish

Step 1

Combine the vinegar, sugar, salt, and pepper in a large nonreactive mixing bowl and vigorously whisk it until the sugar and salt dissolve. Check your sugar and salt levels by tasting and adjust as necessary. Be sure the dressing is highly seasoned.

Remove the core from the cabbage and discard. Cut the cabbage into 4 chucks and finely shred it by using the shredding disc on a food processor or a mandoline set fine. Work in small batches so that you never overcrowd your processor bowl. You should end up with about 10 cups of finely shredded cabbage.

Place your shredded cabbage into a large bowl with the dressing you have prepared and toss it until everything is well mixed. Your best tool to do this will probably be your hands. Once all is well blended let it set for at least 10 minutes.

If you store your slaw to serve later remember to keep it covered, well chilled, and be sure to remix it when you take it out to serve.

Mound your slaw on a platter or onto individual plates. Place your tomato slices on top of the slaw with a dollop of mayo on each slice and a spoonful of relish in the center of each dollop of mayo. Enjoy!


  • JOE’S STONE DRESSING:
  • 2/3 cup cider vinegar
  • 6 tablespoons sugar (or to taste)
  • 2 teaspoon salt (or to taste)
  • 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • SLAW:
  • 1 medium head of green cabbage (about 32 ounces)
  • 4 large ripe tomatoes, sliced crosswise into 1/4–inch slices
  • 8 tablespoons mayonnaise (They use Hellmann’s)
  • 4 tablespoons sweet pickle relish

Step 1

Combine the vinegar, sugar, salt, and pepper in a large nonreactive mixing bowl and vigorously whisk it until the sugar and salt dissolve. Check your sugar and salt levels by tasting and adjust as necessary. Be sure the dressing is highly seasoned.

Remove the core from the cabbage and discard. Cut the cabbage into 4 chucks and finely shred it by using the shredding disc on a food processor or a mandoline set fine. Work in small batches so that you never overcrowd your processor bowl. You should end up with about 10 cups of finely shredded cabbage.

Place your shredded cabbage into a large bowl with the dressing you have prepared and toss it until everything is well mixed. Your best tool to do this will probably be your hands. Once all is well blended let it set for at least 10 minutes.

If you store your slaw to serve later remember to keep it covered, well chilled, and be sure to remix it when you take it out to serve.

Mound your slaw on a platter or onto individual plates. Place your tomato slices on top of the slaw with a dollop of mayo on each slice and a spoonful of relish in the center of each dollop of mayo. Enjoy!


  • JOE’S STONE DRESSING:
  • 2/3 cup cider vinegar
  • 6 tablespoons sugar (or to taste)
  • 2 teaspoon salt (or to taste)
  • 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • SLAW:
  • 1 medium head of green cabbage (about 32 ounces)
  • 4 large ripe tomatoes, sliced crosswise into 1/4–inch slices
  • 8 tablespoons mayonnaise (They use Hellmann’s)
  • 4 tablespoons sweet pickle relish

Step 1

Combine the vinegar, sugar, salt, and pepper in a large nonreactive mixing bowl and vigorously whisk it until the sugar and salt dissolve. Check your sugar and salt levels by tasting and adjust as necessary. Be sure the dressing is highly seasoned.

Remove the core from the cabbage and discard. Cut the cabbage into 4 chucks and finely shred it by using the shredding disc on a food processor or a mandoline set fine. Work in small batches so that you never overcrowd your processor bowl. You should end up with about 10 cups of finely shredded cabbage.

Place your shredded cabbage into a large bowl with the dressing you have prepared and toss it until everything is well mixed. Your best tool to do this will probably be your hands. Once all is well blended let it set for at least 10 minutes.

If you store your slaw to serve later remember to keep it covered, well chilled, and be sure to remix it when you take it out to serve.

Mound your slaw on a platter or onto individual plates. Place your tomato slices on top of the slaw with a dollop of mayo on each slice and a spoonful of relish in the center of each dollop of mayo. Enjoy!


  • JOE’S STONE DRESSING:
  • 2/3 cup cider vinegar
  • 6 tablespoons sugar (or to taste)
  • 2 teaspoon salt (or to taste)
  • 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • SLAW:
  • 1 medium head of green cabbage (about 32 ounces)
  • 4 large ripe tomatoes, sliced crosswise into 1/4–inch slices
  • 8 tablespoons mayonnaise (They use Hellmann’s)
  • 4 tablespoons sweet pickle relish

Step 1

Combine the vinegar, sugar, salt, and pepper in a large nonreactive mixing bowl and vigorously whisk it until the sugar and salt dissolve. Check your sugar and salt levels by tasting and adjust as necessary. Be sure the dressing is highly seasoned.

Remove the core from the cabbage and discard. Cut the cabbage into 4 chucks and finely shred it by using the shredding disc on a food processor or a mandoline set fine. Work in small batches so that you never overcrowd your processor bowl. You should end up with about 10 cups of finely shredded cabbage.

Place your shredded cabbage into a large bowl with the dressing you have prepared and toss it until everything is well mixed. Your best tool to do this will probably be your hands. Once all is well blended let it set for at least 10 minutes.

If you store your slaw to serve later remember to keep it covered, well chilled, and be sure to remix it when you take it out to serve.

Mound your slaw on a platter or onto individual plates. Place your tomato slices on top of the slaw with a dollop of mayo on each slice and a spoonful of relish in the center of each dollop of mayo. Enjoy!


  • JOE’S STONE DRESSING:
  • 2/3 cup cider vinegar
  • 6 tablespoons sugar (or to taste)
  • 2 teaspoon salt (or to taste)
  • 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • SLAW:
  • 1 medium head of green cabbage (about 32 ounces)
  • 4 large ripe tomatoes, sliced crosswise into 1/4–inch slices
  • 8 tablespoons mayonnaise (They use Hellmann’s)
  • 4 tablespoons sweet pickle relish

Step 1

Combine the vinegar, sugar, salt, and pepper in a large nonreactive mixing bowl and vigorously whisk it until the sugar and salt dissolve. Check your sugar and salt levels by tasting and adjust as necessary. Be sure the dressing is highly seasoned.

Remove the core from the cabbage and discard. Cut the cabbage into 4 chucks and finely shred it by using the shredding disc on a food processor or a mandoline set fine. Work in small batches so that you never overcrowd your processor bowl. You should end up with about 10 cups of finely shredded cabbage.

Place your shredded cabbage into a large bowl with the dressing you have prepared and toss it until everything is well mixed. Your best tool to do this will probably be your hands. Once all is well blended let it set for at least 10 minutes.

If you store your slaw to serve later remember to keep it covered, well chilled, and be sure to remix it when you take it out to serve.

Mound your slaw on a platter or onto individual plates. Place your tomato slices on top of the slaw with a dollop of mayo on each slice and a spoonful of relish in the center of each dollop of mayo. Enjoy!


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